fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
