Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
