If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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