how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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