I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Rumble strips road head = magical
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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