but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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