Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
