Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
