I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
