My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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