my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
