Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
