She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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