Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
