I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
