Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
