this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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