omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
