Fuck appropriateness.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
