Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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