You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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