omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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