so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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