His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
