She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
