yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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