I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
