i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
