Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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