Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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