No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
