I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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