I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
