I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Houston, we have a squirter
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
