dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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