I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
soo... how was my night?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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