i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
