the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
