Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
