I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
