I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you would pick up someone in the library
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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