This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
