Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
