I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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