I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
