I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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