Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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