I could have mohawked her pubes.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i dont even know how to be here
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Randomize
