I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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