I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
