Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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