hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
